Recovered strength
by Snowflurryflake
Summary: A little story about Lisbon and her strength. And Jane, of course. Set after 4x24. A mixture of romance, angst and fluff, I guess.
1. Prologue – No suspension

**A/N**: This story is a tribute to Lisbon who impressed me so much, especially during season four.

It is my first English story, so cut me some slack, please~

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Recovered strength

_To my twin and every member of our facebook group "Jisbon Forever 3". I love you, guys!_

Prologue – No suspension

"Suspension?!"

"Well, it's not exactly a suspension, Agent Lisbon."

"My team and I aren't allowed to return within the following thirty days. That's what I call a suspension."

Director Bertram sighed and rubbed the back of his nose. "I can assure you, it's not. But it's necessary that your team stays out of focus for a little while."

"Ah, and that's why you're sending us to somewhere in the middle of nowhere?"

"It's an old farm house far away from civilization, I admit. But there's a nice town nearby." When Lisbon pressed her lips angrily together he added softly, "It's really not that bad. This location has been used for witness protection before and it has proved to be useful."

Bertram watched his agent crossing her arms in front of her chest, and took a step closer, "Look, I'm sorry, Agent, but you have to understand my point. I need the whole Red John situation to cool down a bit. I want you and your team coming out of his fire, at least for a few weeks."

"I understand, Sir, but we still have to investigate this case. We nearly caught him two days ago. We have got one of his disciples – and she's still alive! We're close, we can't stop now!"

"Nearly, Agent, you _nearly_ caught him and that's my point! Jane had his _brilliant_ plan but nevertheless Red John frustrated it eventually. And his girl? You guys tried to crack her for forty-eight hours now and what have you learned?"

"Well, nothing much until now, but…"

"No, there's no 'but!' I want you out of Sacramento immediately."

"Sir, I really appreciate your concern, but this isn't our first Red John case. We can handle it. We did before. But if we leave now we might miss our chance!"

"Agent Lisbon", Bertram was standing in front of her with a very angry expression on his face, "You and your team – and that also includes Jane – you will go home now, you will pack some stuff and you will be at the airport in three hours. You will take the plane, you will be driven to that damn house and you will stay there until I give you permission to come back.

"And I'll tell you _why_ you will do this: Red John wanted the death of one of my agents and he just killed another one. He tried to turn a CBI consultant into his disciple. We have at least one mole in the FBI and I guess that maybe – just maybe – he has some more friends in the CBI, too. But of course we have no clue who that might be. The SCU had been in great danger lately – and still is.

"So excuse me if I want to protect my people. You will go. That is an official order, Agent. You can also tell Jane, that he will go with you, because otherwise he will stay fired forever!"

Lisbon remained silent because she didn't expect an outburst like that from her boss. He cleared his throat.

"It is important that no one knows where you're going. So you guys aren't allowed to tell anybody. While you're away, your families will be protected and another CBI unit will deal with Lorelei Martins. I know it isn't easy but you don't need to worry. Agent Lisbon, CBI already lost five agents because of Red John. I don't want to lose another one, do you understand that?"

He looked directly in her eyes and Lisbon was astonished to see that he was sincere.

After a moment of silence, she nodded.

"Yes, Sir. We're leaving as soon as possible."

"Good," he turned around and went back to his desk. "That will be all."

She stayed for a few seconds, watched him sorting his documents and then she left with a heavy but silent sigh.

The last thing she heard was, "Be careful, Agent, and take good care of your team."

"I will, Sir."

TBC

_I really don't want to deal with Lorelei here, so I just kick her out of this fanfiction. *kick*_


	2. Chapter 1 – Arrival

**A/N**: My beta reader and I had some technical problems, but everything is fine now. So thank you, 0YinANDYang0, you saved me!

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Chapter one – Arrival

"It's the end of the world, isn't it?" Rigsby said when he jumped out of the old rusty truck and looked around.

"You're sure we're still on same planet?" Cho commented dryly and started to unload the luggage.

"Come on, guys, it's not that bad." Lisbon tried to motivate her team but didn't sound convinced either.

"Nice try, Lisbon."

"Jane, shut up." She took the keys and thanked the old farmer who had picked them up from airport. Jim Alliston gave her a toothless smile, tapped his hat and vanished somewhere towards the stables.

"So, Boss…" It was Rigsby again, who was still looking at the countryside in front of him, "Where exactly are we?"

"To be honest, I've no idea."

"I would check some maps but I don't have any reception." Grace waved her mobile phone through the air with not much success.

"We probably should drive to the town tomorrow and find out. It should be located just a few miles away." Lisbon picked up her bag and went to the farm house. A lot of plants had climbed the old wood over the years and its white color was more a dirty grey now. It wasn't big at all and a little bit crooked, but it had a cute porch with two inviting couches on it. It really wasn't that bad after all. Despite its old age it looked cozy somehow.

"Well, that looks promising," Risgby murmured under his breath. It was unusual for him to be the grumbling one, but who could blame him for it? He had to leave his son and his girlfriend behind again after he had been pronounced dead just a few days before. Nobody possibly could take offense at him wanting to be somewhere else – not to mention that he wasn't the only one. Neither he nor his colleagues were pretty happy about their forced vacations.

"Come on, Cowboy," Grace clapped him on his shoulder and smiled softly to cheer him up before she went past him to follow Lisbon into the house. "Maybe it's getting better on the inside."

xxx

It wasn't exactly better but it was clean and tidy; the fittings looked rustic and comfortable.

"Let's see..." Lisbon said, "We have four bedrooms and one living room. I guess two of us could share a bedroom and-"

"That won't be necessary, Lisbon, I don't need one. I'm used to sleeping on a couch, so I'll just stay in the living room."

Lisbon glanced at Jane, "You're sure?" After he nodded she continued, "Well, it's settled then. Get your stuff in your rooms, guys. Jane, you can take your luggage to my room if you want. We'll meet back down here later."

Because they weren't at work now, Lisbon actually wasn't in charge anymore, but there was a silent agreement between the colleagues of SCU: It wasn't necessary to change something that worked as it was. So no one contradicted and they followed her orders as usual.

Lisbon went upstairs first and entered her room. It was small and barely lit due to window size. The room only had a bed, a bedside table, an armchair and a wardrobe, but it was enough for a few weeks.

With a sigh she dropped her bag on the bed and stepped to the window. Alliston's farm was on a hill so she could overlook the whole valley through cracked glass. The scenery consisted of meadows and fields in light and dark green shades with some paths between them. It was a nice view, though she would have preferred the view across the roofs of Sacramento.

She was just turning away when Jane's voice made her jump. "Already regretting your decision to come here?"

"Jesus, Jane!" Lisbon gasped for air as she faced him without looking him in the eyes, "Don't do that! And it wasn't _my_ decision."

"But you could have prevented it," he pointed out softly.

"It was an official order." She automatically felt the urge to defend herself. Lisbon cursed herself for it because she should know better than letting Jane provoke her.

"Anyway," she said when she went past him, "I guess the wardrobe is big enough for both of us, so you can put your stuff in one half."

He was about to say something when Grace entered with a knock.

"Boss?"

"What's up, Grace?" Even though she tried to hide her relief Lisbon was sure that Jane was able to see right through her. She could feel his burning gaze in her back. Or maybe she was just paranoid.

"Mr. Alliston allowed us to take his horses whenever we want. So...-I was wondering if you'd like to come with me for a ride. I totally would understand if you want to unpack or relax first. Or if you want to postpone it or..."

"Give me ten minutes, Grace, and I'll join you," Lisbon interrupted the rookie who smiled in surprise and disappeared with a cheerful response. "Great! See you then, Boss!"

Lisbon turned to her consultant, "Would you excuse me, Jane? I really need to change for that trip."

Even if she wasn't directly looking at him she could still feel his staring.

After a pause he answered quietly, "Of course. But we probably should talk about why you're avoiding me." With these words he left, missing her sulkily murmured "I'm not avoiding anybody."

xxx

Although it had been awhile since Lisbon had ridden a horse, she and Grace had a nice time during their ride through meadows and fields. They didn't talk much but both of them enjoyed the quiet and also each other's company. It was somehow relaxing – slow ans steady. At the same time it was a good opportunity to get to know a bit of the area.

When they returned over an hour later they noticed with pleasure that Rigsby and Cho already made dinner for all of them. On the contrary it wasn't a surprise to find Jane on the couch in the living room, taking a nap.

"You coming, Jane?" Lisbon asked when she peeked in, "We'll eat in a few minutes."

He blinked and then sat up. He got a glimpse of her while she was heading to the bathroom, and called her back.

"Lisbon?"

"Yeah?" She took a step backward so that he got a full look of her. Jane was scrutinizing her closely which she commented with a wary frown, "What?"

He just smiled. Lisbon's blouse and jeans were sandy and dusty, her cheeks glinted rosy-tinted and her long black curls looked like a cute wild mess. She was beautiful undoubtedly.

"Just checking to see if you had a nice trip."

Lisbon raised her brow. "You can tell that by looking at me?"

"Sure." He grinned.

She rolled her eyes. "'Sure.' Why am I asking anyway?"

Jane stood up and stepped next to her. "I've no idea, my dear." He twinkled and picked some hay straws from her hair, holding her gaze nevertheless. Lisbon felt herself blushing without knowing why, so she turned quickly to get out of his spell.

"I need to scrub up," she murmured and vanished into the bathroom. Jane watched her as she left and then joined his colleagues in the kitchen.

xxx

Lisbon stood in the small bathroom and watched herself in the mirror. The red shimmer on her cheeks didn't have anything to do with her ride anymore.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked her reflection with a low voice. She'd been acting strange around Jane lately, but she couldn't help it. Since he returned – no, since he had disappeared six months ago – her feelings had turned upside down. Right now she felt happy and sad at the same time – and she was at loose ends with it.

"And what the hell is wrong with Jane?" she added tiredly. Since they had left Sacramento his teasing had been different – she couldn't pinpoint how yet – but for a change, she had no energy left to deal with his intentions. She was exhausted.

The past six months had made her lose strength. She had been worrying nonstop. She'd hardly slept. On top of that, her heart had almost burst from pain. And that pain was still there.

It felt like the shock he had caused when he had left – and when he had returned and told her the truth, followed by his stupid, failed plan – that shock was still paralyzing both her body and her soul.

Lisbon splashed some cold water in her face to clear her head. She couldn't think about it right now. They would know otherwise. They knew the whole time, but they rarely said something, because she wouldn't have wanted that.

And he would know. But she couldn't cast it on him. She needed to handle it herself. She was able to handle her feelings, as confusing as they were. She just needed a little bit more time – and distance from Patrick Jane, who had turned out to be her greatest weakness.

TBC


	3. Chapter 2 – First night

**A/N**: Thanks for your reviews!

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Chapter two – First night

Dinner was nice. The mood was slowly getting lighter. Cho and Rigsby were bantering about who had contributed the most important part to their meal while Grace tried to goad them even more.

Jane and Lisbon were watching them with silent amusement. Sometimes their eyes met for a brief moment before Lisbon applied her attention back to her team.

Afterwards Grace and her boss kicked the boys out of kitchen so that they could wash the dishes without ruffle or excitement.

When they finished, it provided Lisbon the opportunity to excuse herself and call it a night. She told her rookie that she was really tired – it wasn't a lie, after all – and disappeared upstairs, only shooting a "good night, guys" towards the living room.

She knew she wouldn't be able to sleep right now, but she desperately needed some time alone. Her thoughts were spinning in her head. Spinning around Jane.

Sitting on her bed, after exchanging her clothes for an oversized jersey, Lisbon rubbed her forehead and her eyelids. She took a deep breath and finally allowed her thoughts to wander. It wouldn't ease the pain, she knew, but it would calm her a bit. At least for a little while.

When Jane had left for half a year she had lost her ground. It had caught her out of nowhere. Certainly not the fact that he left, no: she had always feared that would happen eventually, even if she had expected it to happen in a different way. What caught her off guard were her own feelings.

It had taken her a while to notice that she wasn't just hurt. She had been grieving. Losing him practically overnight had shocked her in a deep way she'd never expected. She had missed him so much and it had nearly killed her not to know whether he was alright or in trouble. It had scared her to death that she couldn't reach him.

She hadn't been able to sleep properly and to concentrate on her work with her heart fully in it anymore. She had tried to hide it but it had bothered her team nonetheless. It had been visible in their concerned eyes. But worrying Cho, Rigsby, and VanPelt was the last thing she wanted.

And then Jane had returned just a few days ago, again out of nowhere. He had told her everything he had done was for setting a trap for Red John. First she had been relieved. He was back and okay. It was all that mattered...until she realized that she had suffered, had lost her strength for a stupid plan, for nothing – especially since Red John had figured it out. She was still glad that Jane was back but she was hurt as well.

Okay, that was an understatement.

The fact was, he didn't trust her. At least not enough to let her in on from the beginning. Instead he urged her into his plan just when it wasn't possible to back off anymore – as if Lisbon would have let him down one way or the other, but that wasn't the point.

On top of it all, he had accepted that he would have to hurt her for his plan. It had been a necessary evil.

The worst thing about this story? She wasn't even mad at him...just hurt. It was the way Jane handled stuff concerning Red John. It was just the way he was. She _could _understand why he needed to catch the killer so urgently. After all, he wasn't the only one who had lost someone under a bloody red smiley face. Figuratively, since neither Bosco and his two colleagues nor Wainwright had deserved a smiley face. They just were means to the end.

Lisbon felt her eyes going watery but she wasn't about to cry. She hadn't in the past six months, even if she had got every reason to do so.

She already had one weakness. She couldn't allow herself another one. Simply crying wasn't hers and wouldn't help anyway.

She just needed time.

xxx

It was late at night when Lisbon left her room as quietly as possible. While she tiptoed barefooted through the dark corridor, she could hear Rigsby snoring in his room and it made her grin.

Apart from that there wasn't any other sound. Everyone went sleeping hours ago. She knew because she had been awake the whole time. She had tried to sleep, but of course it didn't work, so she was left to tossing about in bed. It annoyed the hell out of her because she didn't have an explanation for it. There was still a restlessness and it didn't want to disappear even with Jane back in her life.

She really could use some sleep though. She'd been needing it for months now.

Lisbon sighed silently and snuck downstairs. As she traversed the softly lit living room, she didn't dare to look to the couch and quickly slipped into the bathroom.

After taking time to refresh herself, she hesitated before returning to her room. Actually, there was a good chance that Jane was asleep despite the small light he probably just forgot to turn off. If she was quiet enough, she wouldn't awake him, right?

Yeah, right, because Jane had such healthy sleeping habits.

Lisbon slapped her hand against her forehead. This was ridiculous! What was she, a fourteen year old teenager with a crush on the bad boy?

She straightened herself with a brave huff and left the small room. Looking straight ahead she almost did it, almost passed living room completely, when she couldn't help herself and stopped on the threshold to turn slightly and look back at Jane.

And there he was. Lying on the couch, in his usual suit but without his jacket, arms crossed behind his head, looking straight away at her. When their eyes met Lisbon froze.

There_ it_ was again.

Her inner disunity.

Pain. And happiness.

Longing.

Love.

xxx

The fact that Teresa Lisbon was in love with Patrick Jane wasn't new. Not for Lisbon anyway. She had realized it long before and made her peace with it. It had been confusing at the beginning but she had accepted it eventually.

Though it didn't mean that she suddenly had changed her behavior around him completely or had glutted him with love confessions.

Apart from the fact that she wasn't good at love confessions anyway, she also wouldn't have told him because she was sure he didn't need another complication in his life. Additionally, she was a strong woman. She could handle it herself. She had learned to live with it.

Therefore, despite feeling jealous and overly concerned from time to time, she was in control of her feelings.

That was the reason it had shocked her so deeply, that it affected her so much, when he had left six months ago. She had thought she was in control, but it turned out that she wasn't.

And now he was here, right in front of her, looking at her without a word, with an unreadable expression on his face. He was simply staring at her with his intense blue eyes, holding, chaining her gaze, making it impossible for her to turn away.

Lisbon swallowed hard. It felt like the world wasn't moving anymore. It was only him and her.

God, how much she had missed him. How much she longed for just sitting next to him, shoulder to shoulder – to feel that he was actually _here_, because her heart hadn't noticed yet. It still hurt.

As if he could read her mind for real Jane's expression softened.

"Get some sleep, Lisbon. You look tired," he whispered.

"That's rich, coming from you, Jane," she answered just as quiet.

Jane smiled slightly and eyed her meaningfully from top to bottom. How she was standing in front of him, dressed only in a long jersey. She followed his gaze and blushed. Again.

With an annoyed huff she stuck out her tongue and was about to leave, when she heard him whispering fondly, "Good night, Lisbon."

She looked back over her shoulder, watching how warm light painted soft shadows on his face.

Lisbon felt strong affection spreading through her stomach and the urge to say, _'I'm glad you're back, Jane. I missed you. Don't you dare do that again!'_

But all she said was, "Good night, Jane."

TBC


	4. Chapter 3 – Lightning without thunder

**A/N**: Guys, really, thank you so much for the reviews! I appreciate them!

This chapter is a little bit lighter. I hope you like it.

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Chapter three – Lightning without thunder

The next morning, the old truck uttered a dry gurgle and died with an ugly puff.

"Well, that didn't sound healthy," Grace said when she dismounted the driver's cab.

"It didn't feel healthy either," Rigsby groaned and jumped off the truck bed, rubbing his backside. "I could feel every bump!"

"Don't make such a fuss, man." Cho had been sitting with him but only grimaced when he stretched his back.

Lisbon smiled sympathetically while she put the car keys in her jeans pocket. "I'm sorry, guys. I know this truck is much more dangerous than Jane's contraption, but…"

"Hush, Lisbon, what if she hears you?! It doesn't matter that we're hundreds of miles away, she's a very sensitive _car_!"

Lisbon ignored Jane's scandalized objection and continued, "We only have one other choice but I didn't think you want to take the horses."

"Let's try that next time. It can't be worse," Rigsby grumbled.

Jane grinned devilishly, "I'll take you at your word."

"You can talk! You sat with Lisbon and Grace in the upholstered driver's cab."

"Hey, it wasn't that comfy either. And don't try diverting, you're in it now."

"I'll ride a horse when you do, Jane."

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "Come on, Grace, let's go ahead."

The redhead grinned and nodded in response.

Looking around curiously, the two women walked towards town center, followed by Cho and his bantering colleagues.

It was a cute little town after all. Peaceful and friendly. Old houses, a few stores, a market place in front of a beautiful small and white church, and even a pub next to the town hall. Despite low population, the streets were pretty busy just now. Passing people eyed them with curiosity, but in a friendly, non-pushy way.

"It's nice, isn't?" Lisbon commented quizzically.

"Kind of…"

"Agent Lisbon!" Both women turned their heads and greeted the old farmer.

"So, everything's fine up there? You alright?" Alliston mumbled afterwards, chewing on a grass blade.

"Yes, thank you. We'll manage all right," Lisbon assured. "We're here to go grocery shopping and look around town a bit."

He nodded. "You do that, Ma'am, but you shouldn't stay too long though. We're expecting a heavy thunderstorm today."

Rigsby looked at Cho, who just shrugged. It had been a pretty nice morning so far – warm and sunny and barely windy – but Alliston probably was better informed than they were.

When they gave their attention back to their coworkers, Alliston was inviting them to every Friday's pub night – a tradition in the town.

"Thanks, but I don't think it's a good idea. We don't want to be conspicuous."

"Don't worry, Agent Lisbon," Alliston said, "People here are used to me having guests from time to time. They won't ask unpleasant questions."

"Well...we'll think about it."

Alliston nodded and lifted his head, "See you later then, Agents. You know where to find me if you need something."

Lisbon's team said goodbye and faced its boss who clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Okay then, let's paint the town red!"

Cho, Grace and Rigsby looked clearly flabbergasted at her, while Jane suppressed his laughter.

Lisbon smirked mischievously and Cho commented dryly, "Yeah, let's get the party started."

xxx

It turned out that Alliston had been right about the weather. After SCU returned to their temporary home a few hours later, the previously sunny sky already started to darken. It wasn't long before heavy rain drops were whipped against the roof and to the fields, pushing grass and corn down. In the distance rolling thunder could be heard and a nearly black cloud bank spread over the area.

Lisbon was standing on the sheltered porch and watching the approaching thunderstorm. She heard her team rumbling through the house and wanted to go inside, too, but found herself unable to avert her gaze. It was fascinating how powerful this natural spectacle rolled above her head. It was different here; closer and more impressive, more intense than in California.

So it wasn't surprising that she was still outside when Jane was looking for her a bit later.

Sitting on one couch, Lisbon was curled in the cushions. Rain was drumming on the roof with steady rhythm, but she was safe underneath.

"Hey there," Jane greeted quietly when he came out and looked down at her.

"Hey, yourself," she shot back and yawned discreetly. The fatigue was back.

Jane walked around and sank onto her couch. Without thinking, Lisbon moved her feet to give him enough space, because the couch wasn't that big. He could have sat on the other one, but he had chosen to be with her – and she didn't mind.

She was too weary.

Lisbon could feel his closeness and warmth. It made her dizzy.

"I told you, you need some sleep."

"Shut up, Jane," she murmured and fought against the urge to close her eyes. God, she was so tired.

"I don't think so," he answered with a smirk. "You really need to sleep and you know it. It's okay...you can sleep, Lisbon. You're safe here. Just close your eyes and allow yourself to relax." His lulling voice was soft, warm and almost fondly, and mixed with the sound of dropping rain.

"You can feel how the tension left your body. Every muscle will be relaxed. You will sleep deeply and peacefully. Can you feel it, Lisbon? You're drifting away and sinking in comfy weightlessness…"

She knew what he was trying and she wanted to tell him 'Stop hypnotizing me!', but her heavy lids were already shut – when did that happen? – and neither her lips nor her tongue wanted to move anymore. Lisbon heard herself sighing when one warm hand was placed on her leg. As a second one wandered to the back of her neck and started caressing her sensitive skin she felt herself shivering and drifting off eventually.

xxx

Lisbon had no idea how much time had passed, when she awoke. She blinked tiredly and looked around. She was still outside, but it wasn't raining anymore, and found Grace and Cho sitting on the other couch with Rigsby perched on the porch railing.

She didn't need to check out that Jane was still next to her because she could feel his shoulder against hers.

Someone had wrapped her into a warm blanket, so she cuddled deeper in it.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" When Grace spoke with a low voice even Lisbon followed her gaze to the hills in front of them.

One side of the sky was painted in deep red and orange as the sunset had already started. The other side, however, was still laden with heavy dark clouds. Without a hint of thunder, lightning branched through them every second.

"It is," Rigsby agreed just as quiet, "As if someone's turned the sound off."

"I bet it was Jane," Lisbon muttered.

"Hush, Lisbon, I'm a mentalist, not a magician. Although I would have done it for you if I really had such power."

Barely awake, she just snorted and tidied the blanket around her before she closed her eyes once more.

"I mean it, Lisbon. Anyway, since nature is quiet now, go back to sleep, mother bear. Your beloved ones are just fine."

It was silly but in her drowsy state she felt reassured. And with that Lisbon drifted off again.

xxx

It was dark outside and Lisbon was still asleep when her team decided to call it a night. She didn't even stir when Rigsby lifted her up carefully to carry her inside and upstairs into her room.

After laying her down on the bed, he frowned at Jane, who was waiting for him to leave. When he did so, Jane turned his attention towards Lisbon and tucked her in carefully. Afterwards, he sat down on the edge of her bed.

He watched her sleeping and even now found some lines of worry on her forehead. His fingertip trailed them softly before he replaced it by his lips.

"We have to do something about your tension, my dear," he whispered, placing a feathery kiss on her warm skin.

"No..." she muttered, still sleeping and probably dreaming. "No...control...not...Jane..."

Jane shook his head. "Stubborn woman!" he mumbled himself.

With a second peck on the corner of her mouth he silently wished her a good night and left her room.

TBC


	5. Chapter 4 – Pub night

**A/N**: It has to be said, I'm afraid. So here we go...

Disclaimer: The characters of The Mentalist aren't mine. And the other ones...well, forget about them.

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Chapter four – Pub night

In the following days, nothing dramatic happened. Lisbon and her team tried to pass time as efficiently as possible without getting bored. Lisbon and Grace went riding every day, and afterwards Grace tried to teach Rigsby how to ride a horse. He still feared that Jane would carry out his threat eventually and he didn't want to make a fool of himself. (For that, it was indeed too late. His attempts were quite funny to watch, but his colleagues had to hide that since Rigsby refused to mount a horse when they were watching.)

Cho could be found on one of the porch couches most of the time. He was reading through Alliston's library, which was full of dusty old books. Sometimes, when Jane wasn't on a walk, he kept him company, since he was a passionate reader, too.

Lisbon didn't know what to do with herself at first until she decided to pay a daily visit to Alliston's sister, who had a small shop in town. It was the only place in the proximity where you could find a working internet access, after all.

Lisbon tried to stay current about the Red John case and everything else that was going on back home in Sacramento. Despite her attempts, though, she learned nothing new.

When Alliston couldn't pick her up in his second car, she chose a horse over the old truck for her daily trip. It simply was faster that way. Sometimes she met Jane on her way back, so she accompanied him a short way – until he annoyed her somehow, then she just spurred her horse and left him behind. Pretty handy, such a flighty animal.

xxx

After a week and a half, it wasn't hard for her team to convince her that the Friday's pub night actually was a good idea and a welcome change.

So Lisbon drove them to town in the evening. When they entered the pub it wasn't exactly what they had imagined. The pub was a huge room full of loud chattering, laughter, and cheery music. A pianist was sitting next to the dance floor and playing whatever people shouted to him. Young and old were sitting, drinking, and dancing together, barely taking notice of the strangers.

"Well, _that's_ a party," Grace said, surprised.

"That's one way of putting it," Lisbon replied, "Guys, look for a table while Jane and I get some drinks, would you?"

After they nodded their agreement Lisbon fought her way through the crowd of people towards the bar.

When she reached it she was about to say something, but then the bartender turned to her completely and flashed a bright smile at her. Lisbon grew stiff all of sudden.

"Hey, what can I do for you?" he wanted to know welcoming.

When Lisbon didn't answer and just stared at him open-mouthed, Jane lifted his brow and placed their order instead of her. With a nod the bartender turned slightly away.

Jane leaned towards Lisbon and murmured to her ear, "He looks a little bit similar to Greg, doesn't he?"

She blinked in confusion and was back in reality then.

"You're kidding, Jane," she hissed back, "He looks _exactly_ like a younger version of Greg! That's creepy." Indeed it was. The guy must have been in his mid-twenties and with his short dark blond hair, two cute dimples and an honest bright smile he looked pretty much like Lisbon's ex-fiancé Greg.

Before Jane could say anything, 'Young Greg' was back again and handed them their drinks.

"If you need anything else, just ask. I would do anything for such a beautiful stranger."

Jane rolled his eyes and expected Lisbon to kick the barkeeper's ass verbally as she would do under usual circumstances, but to his great surprise she blushed slightly and smiled.

"Thanks, we'll do that…?"

"Oh sorry! It's Sammy."

"We will take you up on your offer, Sammy." Sammy grinned and winked at her before another guest caught his attention.

Still smiling Lisbon looked around and found her team at the further end of the pub.

"Come on," she said to Jane, who gave her and Sammy a wary look and hurried to follow her through the crowd again.

"What was that, Lisbon?"

"What was what?" Her gaze back over her shoulder found Jane before it flickered to Sammy again.

"That!" Jane pointed out. "You have a soft spot for him."

"What – no, I don't!"

As soon as they reached their table, Jane claimed, "Our lovely Lisbon here might get drinks for free tonight."

"Shush, Jane!"

"Why, Boss, did you flirt with the bartender?" Grace wondered aloud, grinning.

"Of course not!" Lisbon huffed as her colleagues tried to get a glimpse of Sammy.

"Yes, she did."

"Jane!"

When her team, including Jane, smirked at her, Lisbon felt her cheeks get hot.

"Oh hush! Are we drinking now or what?" She earned a collective 'Cheers!' and rolled her eyes at Jane who sipped innocently at his drink. Lisbon wasn't sure if already regretted coming here in the first place.

xxx

It wasn't long after when Cho muttered, "Hey Boss, bartender at 12 o'clock."

Everyone on the table was looking up when Sammy appeared.

"Hey guys," he greeted, "you're having a good time?"

They answered with polite thanks and the barkeeper turned to Lisbon.

"You know, I didn't get the chance to ask for your name. I mean, I could still call you like I did before – it's not a lie that you're beautiful – but-"

Judging from the expression on her face, Lisbon was horrified by that option, so she interrupted quickly,

"My name is Teresa."

And since she didn't want to stay focus of attention, she added, pointing at her colleagues, "And these are my friends: Kimball, Grace, Wayne and Patrick."

"Nice to meet you all," Sammy smiled, "It's great to have some new guests, so feel free to order whatever you want tonight. It's on the house."

Jane chuckled and coughed what sounded suspiciously like 'I told you so.'

Lisbon gave him a dirty look before Sammy caught her attention once again.

"You know, Teresa, I'm having a break at the moment, so I wondered if you would like to dance?"

Caught off guard Lisbon opened and closed her mouth without saying anything. She would usually decline such an offer and yet again, she surprised herself and her team with answering a short pause later, "I'd love to."

'And why not?' she thought. An apparently nice and definitely handsome man asked her to dance. And the music was light and jazzy, just as she liked it.

…Oh well, and he looked like Greg.

When she stood up and headed towards the dance floor with Sammy she barely heard her team talking.

"He looks familiar, but I can't pinpoint it," Grace mused.

"He's kind of blatant." Jane.

"Really, Jane?" Cho.

"I think he's a nice one. Does anyone else want some fries?" Rigsby, of course.

Lisbon sighed with relief to be out of earshot when they entered the dance floor.

"You have some nice friends over there," Sammy commented, smirking as he pulled her closer.

"You've no idea!"

He chuckled and Lisbon found herself liking that sound.

They danced quietly for a moment until he started again, "So, you're with Jim, aren't you?"

She nodded slightly. "Yeah, we're taking a vacation...well, sort of."

"Don't worry," he smiled at her warmly. "Since Jim has some special guests from time to time, I won't ask any further."

Lisbon couldn't help returning his smile.

The longer they danced and chatted the more it was getting obvious that he closely resembled Greg – not only in his appearance.

The way he talked, his smile, the dimples, of course, and his honest charm, all of it was similar. Maybe that was the reason why it was pretty easy for Lisbon to relax in his arms. Even though they never got married, she still thought very fondly of Greg – so she was unable to do anything but have sympathy for his younger version.

They danced together for a few more songs until someone tapped Sammy's shoulder from behind.

"I'm sorry, I really don't want do disrupt your nice dancing." Jane beamed at both of them and Lisbon raised her eye brows as if to say 'Yeah right!'

"What's up, pal?" Sammy said friendly while Lisbon could barely hide her amused snort because of this name.

Jane stayed pretty serious – even though his eyes gleamed mischievously – and pointed to the bar, where a lot of people waited for their drinks.

"Your colleague over there is quite busy. I'm sure she seriously could use your helping hands."

"Oh, damn it! Got to go. I'm sorry, Teresa."

Before Lisbon was able to say anything Jane pushed himself between them and took her from Sammy's arms.

"Don't worry, Sammy, I'll take care of her," Jane reassured him.

"Thanks, man!" And with these words the barkeeper disappeared.

Jane smirked in a very self-satisfied way until he met Lisbon's gaze. She lifted her brow again, put her hand on her hip and tapped one foot reproachfully on the floor.

Her consultant's grin became innocent when he pushed her zestfully against his body to start a new dance.

"Anything wrong, my dear?"

Lisbon snorted, not buying his guiltless look, but letting him lead her around the dance floor nevertheless.

"So," Lisbon started and watched him with a challenging expression, "Tell me, _pal..._What did you do?"

"Excuse me?" Another innocent smirk.

"Oh come on, Jane!" She lifted her fist to punch him, but he immediately backed down before she could do him any harm.

"Okay, fine! … Maybe I _did_ tell some other guests that I would buy a round."

Lisbon rolled her eyes, while she finally relaxed in his arms.

"Why?"

"Well, since everything we order is on the house today..."

"Oh no, forget it!" Lisbon frowned at him, "You are not going to use Sammy's offer, but you're going to pay for that round!"

He pouted.

"Anyway, that wasn't what I meant, you know that. Why did you distract him from me?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, listen, that's a beautiful song, we should enjoy our dance." Jane pulled her closer and swayed to the music.

Even though she put her head against his shoulder – it was just then when she noticed that he wasn't wearing his jacket and his vest was softer than Sammy's shirt – she whined in protest. She wouldn't give up that easily.

"Don't lie to me, Jane. You had something in your mind and I want to know what it was. You aren't jealous, are you?" she joked, but he just sighed heavily.

"Lisbon, hush, seriously! 'Dream a little dream of me' is a classic. Show some respect!"

She was about to give him a teasing reply when she noticed that the pianist was indeed playing the said song. With a shake of her head she fell silent and listened to the melody.

When Jane started to hum along she found herself smiling and closing her eyes.

Almost unnoticeably, he hugged her closer.

Warm attraction flooded through her body once more and painted a soft rose on her cheeks. Shyly she shifted her face into the crook of his neck and buried it there.

That moment full of intimacy, closeness and peace remained her of that very similar moment over two years ago. They had danced together before, on the high school reunion.

How much had changed since then?

Although this memory was still fresh in her mind and it felt as it had been just yesterday, everything was different now. So much had happened. Another CBI agent was dead. Red John was so much closer, Jane much more insane and Lisbon herself – she was falling for her consultant more than ever, in spite of the fact that he had hurt her badly by leaving her behind without a single word.

Lisbon felt her cheerful mood turning into glumness all over again and a lump growing in her throat.

Last tones of 'Dream a little dream of me' faded and a new song begun, just as blue.

"You're still sad," Jane suddenly stated with a low voice, whispering directly in her ear. In soft moves he entwined his fingers with hers.

Lisbon stiffened in his embrace.

"I'm not sad."

"Yes, you are. Don't even try to deny it, Lisbon."

"Or what? You're going to leave me again?" As soon as she had spoken these words, she immediately regretted them.

"Lisbon..." he started, but she shook her head. With a sigh she pushed away and stepped back.

"Sorry, Jane, I didn't mean to...Just forget it. I really need a drink now."

Without looking back, she left the dance floor and joined her team, while Jane stayed behind thoughtfully for a few moments.

TBC


	6. Chapter 5 – Distance

**A/N**: You are amazing, guys! Thank you for the reviews. You're making me so happy!

This chapter is one of the quiet ones, but it's just the quiet before the storm, I promise!

* * *

Chapter five – Distance

It was late at night when Lisbon and her team returned to their farm house. The change of scenery had done them good.

Relaxed and cheerful, they met again in the living room after changing their clothes into more casual ones – except for Jane, who only doffed his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves.

It was past midnight, but nobody was in the mood to go sleeping already. Between candles, with some beer and a deck of cards they made themselves comfortable on armchairs and Jane's couch.

Even though Lisbon really enjoyed their game, she had some trouble to concentrate. She had tried to avoid sitting next to Jane on the couch, but he had tricked her. So now and then his leg brushed hers and sometimes his bare arm met her skin.

Whenever Jane touched her ever so accidently, she felt soft shivers of pleasure flickering through her body, and it distracted her for a trice. Apart from that it drove her crazy.

After a while she was tired of it, really, because she knew, he was doing it on purpose. She moved away abruptly and ignored the quizzical look of Cho, who was sitting next to her.

Lisbon felt Jane's gaze on her, but she still couldn't bring herself to return it.

Only when Jane got up, excused himself and went upstairs, Lisbon lifted her look and let it follow his back.

Suddenly she felt sore again.

"Boss?" Only Cho was directly looking at her, but she could see the worried expression also on her other colleagues' faces.

Lisbon shook her head and pointed to the waiting cards, "Who is next with shuffling?"

xxx

Not even an hour later, all of them were barely awake and suppressing their yawns. Lisbon was the first to call it a night and after a quick side-trip to the bathroom she went upstairs.

When she arrived on the dark landing, she wondered where Jane was. He hadn't returned yet, although some time had passed by.

Suddenly she felt the irrational fear that he could have left on the sly again. Was it possible that they hadn't noticed?

A sharp pain cut through her gut and she clenched her fist. He wouldn't have, would he?

Pure relief washed through her body when she opened her door and found him on her bed.

It was ridiculous. Where should he go to anyway? They didn't even know where exactly they were.

Lisbon let go of the breath she had been holding. Silently she stepped closer and was amazed to find him sleeping. He lay full-length on her covers, with his arms hugging her pillow and his face buried in it. He was actually sleeping. That was new.

For a few minutes she stood beside her bed, simply watching him, since she wasn't sure what to do next.

Waking him up simply wasn't an option. She knew he barely slept properly, even though he lay on couches most of the time.

So she decided that the easiest solution was to swap sleeping-place for one night. She would take his couch in the living room as soon as her team went sleeping, too.

Satisfied with this possibility she took a blanket from her armchair and pulled it carefully over Jane's frame, anxious not to disturb him. When she tugged the fabric under his chin, her gaze got caught on his face. For a change it was quite relaxed. There was no pain, no slyness and no mischievousness on it.

Lisbon's expression softened as she watched him. She allowed herself a brief moment of weakness, allowed love and longing to scratch the surface. She lifted her hand and let her fingertips trace over his jaw-line, up to his blond curls. Fondly she stroked some of them out of his face. They still were a bit too long. A remnant of his six-month plan.

The memory was painful, but she ignored it for now. It was her attraction's turn, even if the unsaid 'I missed you' was still spooking through the room.

After putting the armchair close to the bed, at the level with Jane's head, she curled up in the rough cushions.

Just for a few minutes. She wanted to watch him just a few more minutes. To convince herself that he was actually there.

And with her mind full of yearning, fondness, and worry she drifted off finally.

xxx

In the early morning, with the first rays of the dawn, Lisbon awoke with her back aching. She blinked in confusion and found herself sunk down in her armchair, wrapped into the blanket.

The bed right in front of her was empty.

Had it been just a dream?

When she crawled drowsily onto her bed and buried her face in her pillow to at least try to get a little bit more sleep, she could actually smell Jane's cologne.

A smile grew on her lips as her eyes fell shut once again.

xxx

Lisbon was annoyed.

To be honest, she was angry with herself. Because Jane had been right, of course.

She indeed tried to avoid him, especially during the days after their first pub night.

She had to gain back her control before she was able to face him again. Another slip-out like back then was really redundant.

Needless to say that he still tried to confront her, to catch her alone nonetheless, but she was a smart person, too. She was capable of tricking _him_ from time to time.

Besides, he was obviously containing himself for now, she could tell.

Lisbon was sure that it was just the calm before the storm – and that irritated her even more.

As if that wouldn't be enough though, it was now teeming down every single day.

Because of the weather Jane was compelled to stay inside, he could go for a walk less and less often and that meant that it was even harder to avoid him. (Besides, a bored Jane was never a good sign.)

To make matters worse, Grace and Lisbon might indeed still have their daily rides, but they needed to shorten them occasionally, as it wasn't that fun to ride through rain and hail.

The unsteady weather mixed with the lack of reasonable activity caused an irritable mood in Lisbon's team in general. They fell into a boring daily routine. Town didn't offer much variety either.

So whenever it wasn't pouring down, they used the opportunity to get out of the house immediately.

However, these few hours hardly lifted the mood.

xxx

"Thank you for keeping me company again." Grace smiled when they were leaving Alliston's farm on their horses on a cloudy Wednesday morning.

"No problem." Lisbon returned the gesture. "It's always a nice change."

They rode in silence for awhile until Grace started carefully with a sidelong glance to her boss, "And it's also an opportunity to escape Jane, isn't it?"

Lisbon gave her a dirty look and was tempted to deny it harshly. However, it wasn't her colleague's fault anyway and she wasn't that unfair to take it out on her.

So she changed subject and speed instead. "Want to gallop a little?"

Before Grace could express her agreement Lisbon already urged her dark brown mare to speed up.

Neither the redhead nor her sorrel needed much more to follow her example.

Nevertheless, Grace dared to bring the subject up again later – but more subtle this time.

"Boss, do you think that we will catch Red John some day? Or rather that we will catch him without anybody else getting hurt or...killed?"

Lisbon blinked and hesitated, not sure if she could allow herself and Grace the thought which was currently crossing her mind. Besides, remembering Bosco and Wainwright caused a sharp pain in her chest.

"To be honest, I don't know." When her fellow awkwardly remained silent, she continued, "You know, sometimes it seems that we actually have a real chance to get to him, that we really are a step closer. And then something like the desert disaster happened; and we have to realize that we're still standing just where we had begun years ago."

She huffed with frustration.

"Did it ever occur to you to resign this case?"

"No." This time Lisbon didn't hesitate. "Red John killed many innocent people, he killed Jane's family, and he caused the deaths of Bosco, his colleagues and even Wainwright's. If I ever get the chance to bring him to justice I will take it."

Grace agreed with a nod, a fierce expression on her face. She had her own bone to pick with the killer. For a moment the two women shared disgust, before Grace let her tension fade away.

"However, Boss, aren't you afraid, that Jane will pull you into destruction with him some day?"

"Grace..." Lisbon warned but when her colleague shrugged apologetically she couldn't force herself into ire anymore.

Therefore she remained silent.

Grace felt sorry for her, especially since she had sensed her boss' suffering during the past six months, so she tried to comfort her.

"You know, Wayne, Cho and I are going to stand behind you, no matter what. Even if we're still mad at Jane, you can count on us, whatever decision you make."

Lisbon glanced at her enthusiastic friend and couldn't help smiling.

"Thanks." Then she frowned, "Wait, you guys are still mad at him?"

"Of course we are."

"Uh, you don't have to be."

"Yes, we do!"

Lisbon sighed. "Look, I know he disappointed you, too, and you're still worried about me, but I also know that you like him. It's okay to forgive him, Grace."

With doubt but somehow relieved Grace muttered opaque words under her breath.

To lighten the mood Lisbon grinned, "I know, sometimes it's quite hard to forgive Patrick Jane."

However, the redhead stayed serious and looked straight into her eyes.

"Did you forgive him?"

"Yes..." This single word didn't even sound convincing in her own ears, so she could watch Grace lifting her brow.

"Why are you avoiding him then?"

Once again Lisbon stayed silent, but since her frustrated expression spoke volumes, Grace changed the subject once more.

xxx

If they had been hoping for better weather, they were bitterly disappointed. It just stayed like it was; cloudy, rainy and thundery. That hardly helped to lift the mood, so it was kind of sad but understandable that Lisbon and her team were looking forward to town's own pub night on Friday evening.

Lisbon even had been asked out by Sammy whom she had met during her town trips every now and then. She realized that she really liked him and it flattered her, that he was interested in her despite his younger age.

So she was truly looking forward to an evening of lightness and a bit fun.

Especially since she could feel Jane's burning gaze on her whenever they were in the same room. Lisbon might have been very successful in avoiding him lately, but she could almost feel his increasing dissatisfaction physically. (It was even worse since he had learned about her 'date' with the bartender.)

That was just another good reason to get as much people and space as possible between them, at least for one night.

She really should have known that this plan would backfire eventually.

TBC


	7. Chapter 6 – Smile

**A/N**: Thanks again, dear readers! I hope you like the new chapter.

* * *

Chapter six – Smile

Their second pub night was a little bit unlike their first one.

Since everyone in the pub remembered well that the newcomers had bought a round one week ago, they greeted them with a loud and friendly (and drunken) welcome.

"Hey Teresa, hey guys!" Sammy appeared just in front of them and grinned brightly.

"Hi Sammy," Lisbon smiled, while her colleagues nodded politely.

"I saved you a great table right next to the dance floor. I thought it might be a clever choice since Teresa and I are going to have a hot dance night tonight." He gave her a conspiratorial wink and turned to head towards promised table.

"Uh Sammy, I propose to drop the 'hot' part," she insisted as they followed him. Rigsby, Grace and even Cho smirked and she blushed slightly, throwing a not-so-serious glare at them.

When they arrived at their destination she caught a glimpse of Jane. His expression was hardly readable but she could see that he wasn't as relaxed as he tried to pretend.

Just now he was staring at the barkeeper and asked a bit too friendly, "So, _Sammy_, I estimate that your guests won't like it when their barkeeper is busy with dancing the whole night, right?"

Lisbon gave him a both suspicious and warning look, but he ignored her.

"Don't worry, Patrick, I'm utterly free tonight," Sammy flashed him a honest smile and looked at Lisbon as he added, "I felt really sorry last week, so for tonight I promised Teresa every dancing capacity I own."

"I see..." Jane forced himself to return the smile. His gaze met Lisbon's for a brief moment before she quickly turned away, grabbing Sammy's wrist in this movement.

"Then we better get started, huh?" Pulling the surprised but delighted barkeeper with her she strolled to the dance floor.

xxx

It was a pretty nice evening so far. Lisbon was enjoying her dancing with Sammy. He entertained her with witty anecdotes, made her not only laughing but also relaxing against him. Additionally, he was a quite good dancer.

The music was brisk and jazzy again, and the pianist was accompanied by a saxophonist tonight.

Over an hour later the mood in the pub had changed though. The light was dimmed now, the music slow and blue.

People on their tables were drinking and musing silently, the dancers only swaying lightly.

"Teresa..." Sammy whispered while they were dancing closely, arms wrapped loosely around each other, her cheek on his shoulder.

"Hm?" She didn't even open her eyes.

"Do you think it is working? Making your friend jealous I mean."

Now she did open her eyes. "Excuse me?"

She could hear him grinning as he answered, "Come on, I know there's something between you and Patrick. I can tell that by the way he's trying to kill me with his eyes."

"Sammy, what are you talking about?" Lisbon wondered confused and slightly embarrassed.

"Wait, I'll show you..." Slowly he turned them around so that she could see their table over his shoulder.

Since Rigsby and Grace were dancing, too, Cho and Jane were the only ones who remained there.

With the light of a candle Cho was reading one of Alliston's books while the consultant's gaze was indeed constantly targeted at the dance floor – or to be more precisely: at his partner and the bartender.

Astonished Lisbon held her breath for a few seconds.

"How long...?"

"Since we entered the dance floor."

"No, that's impossible."

"Why are you surprised, Teresa? You are an impressive woman, beautiful and smart."

She felt her cheeks warming up. "...Thank you," she mumbled. He chuckled into her ear.

"You're welcome."

xxx

Now, since she had noticed Jane watching her, she could barely concentrate on anything else. His steady look upset her.

They irritated her badly, both his audacity and her own weakness.

'Damn, Jane!' she thought, 'Stop it!'

As if he had understood her glare, he suddenly smirked.

With an increasing feeling of unease Lisbon watched as he stood up and walked to the pianist to whisper something into his ear. The musician nodded with a smile and called his colleague. They finished the current song and started a new one.

As soon as Lisbon recognized the notes of '_More than words_', beautifully played just by a piano and a saxophone, her eyes widened in shock and she could feel a sudden longing burning through her veins.

Stunned she stared over Sammy's shoulder at Jane, who was standing beside the dance floor, calmly and with serious eyes now. He held her look without a single flicker.

'Why?' formed her lips and this time she was quite sure he understood. Why was he doing this?

This song meant something to her, especially since she had danced to it with Jane some years ago. It was childish and stupid, but it was _their_ song, Jane's and hers. It was a symbol for these rare moments between two deeply caring friends, when the most important thing in the world was the other one – even if only for a blink of time.

As much as she liked dancing with Sammy, she simply didn't want to dance this song with him. And she was sure, that Jane was also very aware of this fact.

He smiled softly at her and besides the longing Lisbon felt anger raising in her chest.

"Everything okay?" Sammy asked when he felt her stiffening in his arms.

Lisbon blinked and nodded quickly, "Yeah, uh, would you excuse me for a moment?"

"Of course." A little bit confused he let her go and watched as she stormed towards Jane, grabbed his arm and pulled him out of sight.

"Apparently it isn't working..." Sammy stated sympathetically and left the dance floor with a shrug.

xxx

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jane?" Lisbon hissed while she dragged him outside through the back door.

"What do you mean?" His replay sounded almost sulky and way too innocent.

The heavy door fell close with numb clanging and shielded them from everyone else. The backyard was quiet and only slightly illuminated.

"Oh come on!" She rubbed her temple and constrained herself to remain calm. "You act like a jealous teenager."

"I'm not jealous!"

"Yes, you are!" She glared at him. "You can't stand the fact that my attention isn't on you for a change."

Jane was speechless for a moment. This discussion was definitely heading for the wrong direction.

"Lisbon, that is ridiculous."

"Fine. So why are you trying to distract me from Sammy then?" With an exhausted sigh she turned slightly away from him and added, "Why can't you at least _pretend_ that you care about other people and behave yourself – just for once?"

"Wha – Lisbon, I _do_ care about people! I care about _you_!"

"No, you don't. You need me. It's a difference."

"That's what you think? Lisbon," seriously and almost angrily he took her hand and pulled her closer. Taken by surprise she looked at him and was confused by his expression, so she stayed quiet as he continued.

"Yes, I need you, but I also care about you. I care about you avoiding me since I came back. I care about the fact that you could barely look at me since then, and especially since last week. You keep me at distance for weeks now, Lisbon. I understand why you're doing it, but that doesn't mean that it isn't bothering me. I know you're angry – with good reason – but you refuse to let it out. You must feel like exploding but instead of dealing with it, you're busy with a guy, who looked like your ex-fiancé. Let's face it, he isn't Greg. He is more than ten years younger than you and in about two weeks you'll never see him again." Uh, wrong direction again. Jane cleared his throat, but before he could go on, Lisbon interrupted.

"Are you insane? This isn't about Sammy or Greg, it's about you. You don't know anything about how I feel! You have _no_ idea."

"Yes, I do."

"No, Jane, don't you dare pulling that mentalist crap on me! You care about me, my ass!"

She wrenched her hand from his grip and built it to a fist. Her control was ridiculously about to slip away and she needed to do everything to avert that scenario.

"You know what, I don't care. I'm going to go back inside and have a bit fun now. God knows, I need it! Do whatever you want but leave me out of it."

"Lisbon…"

She ignored his near-pleading and turned away to leave him finally.

And suddenly he couldn't bear it.

"Lisbon, please don't go." With that and a kind of desperate glint in his eyes he stepped forwards, reaching for her, grabbing her arm and pulling her close once more. Tumbling against his chest with her own she had no time to react.

"Not you, too," he whispered, and then he bent down to press his lips on hers.

Lisbon froze.

With wide open eyes she stared at his face, which was so close that her gaze got blurry.

About that, he really didn't care.

He kissed her with smooth movements, but intense and with all urgency he was able to afford.

Lisbon felt her knees becoming weak immediately and there was nothing she could do about the exhilarating shiver that was electrifying her body from top to toe.

Finally, with a sinful sweet sigh, she relaxed against him, her fingers buried in his jacked as she held him tight and started to return his kiss. It was still gentle but became even more intense soon.

Caught off guard by their own passion, they stumbled a few steps when Lisbon suddenly came back to her mind and pushed away.

Not letting her escape too far Jane reached for her sleeve.

"Lisbon?" he breathed heavily. Since he was distracted by her rosy cheeks, the red, only smidge swollen lips and her bright eyes, it took him a few seconds to realize that her expression wasn't just bewildered. It was horrified. And she wasn't looking _at_ but _past_ him.

Now confused, he followed her gaze, turning around to the wall behind him.

To the wall he had barely paid attention to before.

To the wall, on which a bloody red smiley face had been painted.

TBC

_I swear I never planned to bring up 'More than words'. It's Jane's fault, he did this on his own!...Okay, maybe my subconscious isn't that innocent either. While writing I listened to the song and to 'In my veins' (Andrew Belle) most of the time, so...oh well. _


	8. Chapter 7 – Showdown

**A/N**: The season premiere of Castle was amazing, wasn't it? Anyway, that means there are just a few days left till the season premiere of The Mentalist - I'm so excited!

This chapter is the 'showdown' and _that_ means that we have only one more left. Have fun!

* * *

Chapter seven – Showdown

It had been laughing at them for three hours now. That damn bloody smiley face. In this fateful pub's backyard.

With her arms crossed in front of her chest Lisbon was standing slightly apart and watching.

When Cho appeared next to her, she gave him an expectantly look.

"So?"

"The good thing is," the agent stated, "There's no blood, it's just color."

"You're sure of it?"

"As sure as I can be without forensic analysis."

"Fine. And the bad thing?"

"It's difficult to figure out whether it is _in fact_ Red John's or not. The painting itself fits the pattern. As far as I can tell, not even Jane seems to know."

Lisbon nodded with understanding and chewed on her lower lip. It was indeed a bad thing, since it made a huge difference if this had been Red John or just a copy-cat.

"Do you think, the chief will be able to help us?" Lisbon wanted to know and both of them gazed at said chief who was currently talking to Jim Alliston – with a bored expression on his face.

Cho snorted, "I doubt that."

"I thought so." Lisbon shook her head and groaned, when Chief Cornell strolled towards them.

"Agent Lisbon," he called, still obvious languid.

"Chief?"

"Is it really necessary, that your people are still investigating this...case?"

"Yes," she deadpanned and watched Cho suppressing his grin.

"You see, Agent," Cornell started again, "This is a small town. It won't be long until your doing will attract people. Hell, it is even a surprise that no one in the pub noticed yet. Besides, I'm not really sure if there actually is a case in the first place. The smearing may look like the stuff of that Red Jack person you told me about, but don't forget, Agent, California is hundreds of miles off. Isn't that a bit unlikely?"

Lisbon withstood the urge of rubbing the back of her nose irritably. She was too tired and not in the mood to tell him, why exactly that question was the _point_ of this investigation.

She already regretted calling local police. It didn't make any difference after all. Chief Cornell was hardly enrichment to her team. Especially since there was no forensics far and wide.

Alliston stepped beside her and looked at her with sympathy.

"Don't mind him, he's a jerk," the old man murmured as Cornell turned away to face Jane, Grace and Rigsby, who just quit pub and joined them outside.

"Tell me about it..." she whispered in return, before she asked her team loudly if they had finished.

Grace nodded. "Yeah, we asked around inconspicuously but learned nothing. Most of them are drunk anyway."

"Of course they are. It's Friday night!" It was beyond Cornell why these Californian people he just met would make such a fuss about an ugly painting. Anyway, all he wanted was to be back with his beer, was that so hard to understand?

Lisbon ignored him and glanced at Jane. He also nodded slightly.

"Fine," Lisbon finally said, "we're done for now. We'll be back in the morning though, to look and ask around again by daylight."

"Very well," Cornell grumbled and was about to turn away.

"Chief Cornell," Lisbon called politely but firmly, "Please make sure that no one has access to this backyard until we're back again."

He looked at her like she was totally crazy, but gave in eventually.

"Of course, ma'am, I will tell Sammy. Good night, Agents." And with that he disappeared inside.

Lisbon's team exchanged looks until their boss shooed them to the truck.

xxx

"So, any thoughts?" Lisbon asked on their way back.

It was quiet for a moment, before Grace blurted out, "Why here? How does he know where we are?"

"If it was Red John, it wouldn't have been difficult for him to learn where we are." Jane's voice was calm but obviously strained.

"How do we figure out whether it was him?" Rigsby was on the truck bed with Cho again, and both agents looked through the small back window of driver's cab.

"It seems pretty real, doesn't it?" Grace stated, but Cho remarked, "Yeah, but there was neither real blood nor a body. Wouldn't Red John rather use them to scare or warn us?"

"Probably," Jane answered. "I think Cho's right. Besides, Red John would not come the whole way down here to paint his smiley on a backyard's wall."

"Maybe it was one of his disciples?"

"It's possible, Lisbon, but even then it's hard to imagine that they would use simple color."

"Maybe it's just a coincidence," Rigsby said hopefully.

They fell silent. It was needless to voice that it would be a really huge coincidence. Red John's smiley face here of all places, where people didn't know him, where it was just a smearing on a wall and wouldn't spread fear and terror – except for the few people who knew it.

"Cho, how old do you think is it?" Lisbon wanted to know.

"I guess a couple of days or weeks tops. It was definitely dry but still fresh."

"Someone could have recognized us and played a trick on us," Grace mused.

"But," Rigsby was also pondering, "regardless of Red John or not, how could they be sure that we would find it eventually? It was indeed a coincidence that Boss and Jane stumbled upon it. I mean what were you doing there anyway?"

Lisbon felt herself blushing deeply. She was glad that she was driving and that Grace was sitting between her and Jane. Until now she had been pretty capable of ignoring that sinful memory, and it wasn't either the right place or time to remember it.

"The question is," Grace interrupted, "What are we doing now? Aside from checking town again tomorrow, I mean. Maybe we should leave."

"No."

Everyone was looking at Lisbon after her firm statement, until she explained.

"There's only one week left, we'll cope with that. Besides, I want to be sure that nothing more has happened here. I want to keep a wary eye on the town for the last few days."

When they arrived at the farm Lisbon turned the engine off and faced her team.

"Listen, guys, from now on everywhere you go to will be in pairs at least. No more going it alone. That applies to everyone." She glanced at Jane just for seconds.

"And take your guns as well as your badges with you. I mean it, guys, I don't want everyone of you going alone to anywhere. I'm classifying this as a Red John related case, so this is an official order, are we clear?"

"Yes, Boss," it echoed three times.

"Jane?" Their looks met briefly, he was tantalizing her.

And then he nodded reluctantly. "Fine."

xxx

Neither Lisbon nor her colleagues were much surprised that also their second research on the following day brought nothing new. No one knew or had seen anything. The smiley on the wall stayed a mystery.

They had no option but to record the scanty information and add it to the CBI Red John files later.

The incident brought even more tension and frustration, but Lisbon somehow managed to lighten her team's mood again by keeping them busy – so that they hardly had time to become grumpy.

The other tension, namely the one between her and Jane, wasn't as easily solved. Added to their former disagreement the unexpected but breathtaking kiss in the backyard had made it worse.

It seemed that even Jane was baffled by it.

And Lisbon? Well, her sleeping habits had been a smidge better since Jane's little suggestion, but that first success just vanished. Again, she wasn't able to sleep properly as her mind tried to reconcile the whole heartbreaking disappearing-for-six-months-story and the unsettling kiss, which had been initiated by Jane of all people.

It really unnerved her. She wanted to tear her hair constantly.

At the same time, whenever she remembered the kiss and in particular the feeling of Jane's demanding lips on hers, all she wanted to do was to grab him, push him against the next wall and kiss him senseless.

What a dangerous combination.

Especially since she had no idea why he had kissed her in the first place. Had it been just an act in the heat of the moment – like an embrace followed by a breathless 'Love you'?

It better hadn't been! His 'love confession' – if it actually had been one – she could handle. It was no pleasure of course, but she was able to pretend it never had happened.

This kiss, however, was a different case. It was the forbidden fruit. Now, since she knew its sweet taste, she longed for more of it. Much more.

Damned Jane! It was his fault that she had another weakness.

And he was obviously aware of that. His lack of composure lasted for exact one day. Soon afterwards he was throwing this mischievous gaze and a knowing smile at her whenever their eyes met.

It made her both blushing and angry; and it gave her just another reason to avoid him stubbornly.

xxx

It was only Thursday when they decided to visit town and its pub again – since they had played cards a hundred times and ran out of drinks, everyone agreed to Lisbon's suggestion of a change of scene without hesitation.

To Rigsby's regret not even Cho, who had claimed not to like horses some time ago, complained about Jane's request that all of them should actually _ride_ to town. Grace on the other hand was very pleased with this proposal and since the thought – about seeing the men riding – alone made Lisbon smirk, it was a done deal.

xxx

To the women's surprise Jane and Cho indeed cut a fine figure on their horses. Cho's advantage was his stoic keeping-cool-mentality which hardly could be shattered – no matter what his mare tried.

Jane's explanation, however, had something to do with a horse being easier ridden than an elephant – and nobody really wanted to question that.

So, poor Rigsby was the only one, who looked pretty unhappy during their trip to town. His horse, named Bunny, really loved the fresh green grass from the wayside and it followed its companions by _strolling_ passionately. Needless to say, that it ignored the man on its back completely.

When they arrived at town's pub, Bunny had driven Rigsby to desperation and his colleagues to almost-crying because of suppressed laughter.

While he gladly dismounted Bunny, Lisbon threw a worried glance heavenwards, where the sky was laden with black clouds.

"Looks like we'll get another rainstorm tonight."

"Maybe Alliston could drive us back then," Rigsby implied hopefully.

"I wouldn't worry," Jane teased, "Your Bunny isn't afraid of rain, she can protect you."

Before the agent was able to defend his honor, Grace grabbed his arm und dragged him into the almost empty pub. Cho followed with a grin.

Jane waited for Lisbon, keeping the door open for her, to let her in before him. His hand slipped to the small of her back to guide her, but she jerked away immediately.

They looked at each other and Lisbon couldn't help glancing at his lips. When a blush crept over her cheeks, she quickly turned away and fled inside.

xxx

It was a little while, some drinks and dances later when Lisbon's team met again at their table. They were chatting about random subjects when Grace suddenly got serious and dared to bring up Wainwright's dead for the first time since they had left California.

"Uhm, Boss? Why do you think had Red John chosen to kill Wainwright?"

When Lisbon hesitated, Risbon interjected, "Maybe it was a warning?"

"Or he wanted to punish us since we tried to trap him," Cho added.

"Isn't it obvious?" Everyone faced Jane who sipped composed from his water.

"Jane..." Lisbon said with a warning voice but he didn't seem to hear it, so he continued.

"Undoubtedly he was one of Red John's disciples."

"Jane!" Lisbon hissed angrily and glared at him while Cho, Rigsby and Grace exchanged looks.

With an uneasy glance to her boss Grace admitted, "That thought had already crossed my mind, too, but how can you be so sure about it, Jane?"

"Think about it. Why would Red John kill him otherwise? He wasn't high enough to be important and not close enough to us to harm us."

"Stop it, Jane!"

His gaze met her glare. A sudden insight flashed in his eyes.

"Why, Lisbon? We have to consider every opportunity." His voice was challenging, his look direct and without a flicker.

"You're condemning him without any solid evidence! You know, they say 'innocent until proven guilty' and not the other way round."

"Lisbon, you're being naïve. This is Red John, we're talking about."

"Oh yeah, how could I forget about _that_ fact? How could I forget that it's always about Red John?" Before he could answer her rhetorical questions, she added, "I tell you something, Jane, I don't care what you think – not this time! As long as I don't hold any proof in my own hands, I will believe in Wainwright's innocence."

Grace already regretted bringing up this subject and she, Cho and Rigsby were watching this discussion with worry.

It was insane to push their boss further, but of course Jane did it nevertheless.

"Think about it, Lisbon, why should he take the risk to kill a CBI agent? He had already proven that he was capable of doing so."

Lisbon flinched. She hated to remember the massacre of Bosco and his colleagues.

Jane didn't hesitate and continued though, "Red John planned to entice me so he needed someone near us to have an eye on me – and on you when I disappeared."

She knew he was right. However, just because it was indeed a possibility, it didn't mean that she would give up believing in Wainwright.

"Bite me," she hissed in defeat and stood up. "I'm going home."

"Boss-" Grace was about to follow and accompany her, but Lisbon shook her head firmly.

"No, you stay here! I'm fine."

With an insecure "Okay" the redhead sank back to her chair, while her boss stormed out of the pub – and once again away from Jane.

"Was that really necessary?" Cho frowned at Jane, who chewed absentminded on his lower lip.

"Yes, it was." Lisbon's team looked baffled at her consultant as he suddenly jumped to his feet, grabbed his jacket and also disappeared outside.

"I've a really bad feeling," Rigsby stated.

"You're just hungry."

"Not funny, Cho!"

"Jeez, boys!" Grace rolled her eyes, "Come on, I buy a round. This is going to be a long night."

"Ask for a carrot, too, maybe it motivates Bunny for our way back home." When the read head chuckled because of his words, Cho smirked slightly.

Rigsby tried to stare at them with an angry expression, but even he couldn't hide a small smile. "You two are enjoying this way too much, you know that?"

xxx

Lisbon wished she could goad her horse, but the path in front of her was pitch dark and huge rain drops whipped against her face so that she could barely see anything. Great, the heavy rainstorm had already started. Just what she needed.

"Lisbon!"

Correction; _that_ was the last thing she needed right now.

She had just left town behind when Jane appeared next to her side, a bit out of breath. With satisfaction she noticed that he wasn't sitting as graceful as earlier on his horse.

"What do you want?" she asked coldly, not averting her gaze from the muddy trail.

"Well...we aren't allowed to go out alone, remember? That includes you, too."

"Seriously, bite me! As if you would be able to protect me."

"I would if I have to."

"Yeah right."

"You should have more trust in me, Lisbon."

"Trust? In you? Don't make me laugh!" She wasn't in laughing mood after all. Angrily she tightened her grip around the reins. Her mare snorted nervously.

"Oh well, here we have once again two friends recognizing the boundaries of their relationship."

"Really, Jane, quoting yourself? You don't expect me to do a trust fall again, do you?"

"No...I don't think a trust fall will do it this time."

Her grumble got lost in the sudden thunder. When the rain became much heavier Lisbon had to protect her eyes with her arm.

Choosing now of all times to ride back obviously had been a stupid idea. On the other hand it was easier to avoid Jane during this storm.

"Lisbon..." Jane whined. Okay, she was wrong again.

"We need to talk."

Lisbon glanced at him with disbelief. "Now? Are you crazy?"

"Probably."

"It can wait!"

"No, Lisbon, because I won't let you escape me any longer."

The agent tore her damp hair and huffed in frustration. "Why?"

"Otherwise you'll explode rather sooner than later with much more caused damage. You have to blow off your steam, to let go your exasperation. You'll feel better afterwards."

"I'm not exasperated!"

"Well, you should be."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Just let it out."

"And what exactly would 'it' be?"

"You could probably start with why you stubbornly believe in Wainwright's innocence. Okay, it's obvious that he reminded you of your brothers, so that brings your motherly instinct into the arena. But what's with your inner cop? Doesn't she have anything to say in this case?"

"How do you know...?" She was speechless.

"Come on, it wasn't hard to tell. You liked him. That's why you can't consider him as a suspect."

"He isn't a suspect!"

"See?"

It was too easy. They were just simple words but they cut in deeply.

Yes, she had liked Wainwright. Not in a romantic but sisterly way.

He had been a nice guy, sweet sometimes, almost gawky now and then. When Jane had been 'missing', Wainwright had cared. Sometimes, when she had been the last one in the office, alone with the sorrows for her consultant, he had been there, had talked to her (just small talk but still), even brought her a cup of coffee from time to time (when no one was there watching). She had assumed that he had felt guilty (even if she had never blamed him) and that he had been worried about her.

The gestures had been small but she had been thankful for them nevertheless.

So no, she didn't consider him as a suspect, simply because she didn't want to. Not without proof anyway.

However, it hurt that Jane implied her to be an unprofessional cop.

She bit her lip.

"I told you, it's because there's no evidence," she murmured contritely.

"Meh, evidence. Whatever comfort he might have given to you, it was just a piece of Red John's plan. You're credulous, Lisbon, you should learn not to trust everybody, who's nice to you."

"Well, that's true!" she snarled, "That's why I don't trust _you_."

"Oh, but you can do that. I told you can trust me, Lisbon."

"Yeah, right! That worked well with your stupid plan you hadn't told me about!"

He knew he was getting to her. It wasn't funny at all but it had to be done. And now of all times was his best chance, he could tell.

He knew she was way too furious and hurt by now to back down. So he wound up for a final blow.

"If you had trusted me completely, my dear, there wouldn't have been any reason to worry in the first place. You should have settled back, relaxed and waited for me to solve the Red John case."

Lisbon jerked around and hissed with fury, "What?!"

And then it happened. Since it was very aware of the rider's mood Lisbon's horse had been uneasy and nervous since they had started their way back. Her sharp move mixed with a sudden thunder frightened it tremendously and made it jump – literally! The mare lunged forward and Lisbon, just as startled, fell of her horse with a surprised yell.

With a thud she impacted on the path and moaned painfully, while the mare bucked a few times but stopped eventually, trembling all over the body.

"Lisbon! You're okay?" Immediately Jane dismounted from his own horse and kneeled down beside her.

She grimaced with pain when she sat up and wiped her wet bangs out of her face.

"I'm fine," she muttered as her gaze met his honestly concerned eyes.

"I guess that doesn't count as a trust fall, huh?" he tried to joke lamely and earned a glare.

Lisbon slapped his helping hand away and stood up by herself. Wordlessly she knocked off some soaked sand from her butt and started to walk towards her horse.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon, I didn't mean that to happen," he called after her – he had to call against the rainy storm – and after grabbing his reins he followed her quickly.

"Of course not." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, though it became softer and warm when she reached her mare and whispered soothing words. The animal calmed down a bit and pressed its head against her palms. Lisbon smiled briefly and caught the reins.

By foot she continued the way back.

"Lisbon," breathlessly and also by foot Jane caught up.

"Shut up, Jane. Just...stop, okay?!"

"I can't...we have to move on, past that, Lisbon."

"Move on?" Anger, no, blind fury burned through her body. All the frustration, sadness and hurt became overwhelming all of a sudden and exploded in fiery rage. "Move on? We _can't_ move on, Jane! Can't you see that we're stuck? No matter what we do, nothing will ever change! Despite your great plan we failed again. Face it, Jane, we can't catch Red John and we won't move on!"

"No...no! Lisbon, you must not think that way. Otherwise he will destroy you...us!"

"He already _did_!"

The storm was blowing and howling around them, but they suddenly lapsed into heavy silence.

For a while they walked next to each other without a single word exchanged until Lisbon started again.

"Look, Jane, we're miles away from Sacramento. We were supposed to be out of Red John's fire, but instead of that and instead of us hunting him, he's still hunting us! We found a smiley face, here of all places! There's nothing left for us to do. Whatever we try he will see through it either way. Just like he did before." Naturally she wasn't that pessimistic, but it was her frustration speaking now.

"You honestly don't believe that. We can do it."

"Yeah right, so, then, what now?"

"We'll go on, move on, we'll catch him, Lisbon. Together."

"Oh yeah, like what?" Okay, she was officially insane now for bringing that up, but too upset to care anymore.

He looked a bit startled as he answered, "As a team, as partners, as friends!"

"Friends? So why did you kiss me then?" she blurted out.

"Because I wanted to!" It had been unintentional, she could tell by his caught expression. Lisbon opened her mouth but didn't know what to say.

"Anyway," Jane shook his head to clear his mind and to come back to the point, "I need you to have faith in me, Lisbon. We can do it."

"Oh, that's rich! You expect me to trust you, but it doesn't work the other way round! Otherwise you would have told me about that silly plan of yours."

"I told you before that I trust you! With my life, Lisbon! However, that hadn't anything to do with my plan. I couldn't tell you about it, because I had to be sure that you were safe. I needed to protect you, from Red John, his disciples and myself."

"That's bullshit..." Her voice broke and she wasn't able to identify the flooding water on her cheeks as rain or tears anymore. Hoarsely she continued, "I didn't need your protection, Jane. All I wanted was to know that you were okay, that you were _alive_! You scared me to death! I thought I lost you!"

They were standing still now, closely together, just like their uneasy horses.

Jane swallowed hard. Only now he could see how heartbroken she really had been – and still was.

"No...You will never lose me, Lisbon." Carefully he put his free hand on her wet cheek.

Lisbon closed her eyes as if his touch would cause her physical pain, and yet she allowed it.

"You know, that isn't true. Someday I will lose you, because of him," she whispered so that he nearly missed it.

Jane stayed silent. There barely was anything he could say against it, except, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I always cause you so much pain, Lisbon."

His hand was in the back of her neck now and he pulled her closer to press his lips to her forehead.

"I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you in the first place but if I have to accept this to keep you safe I must do it. I can't let you became his new target. Red John already made it clear, that he wants your death. I can't lose you to him. I can't lose _another_ woman to him." He almost pleaded now.

Carefully Lisbon pulled away.

"You just said that he already targets me, so it's either way too late," she replied softly when she started walking again. "I _want_ to be at your side, Jane, no matter what. I don't know if I'm strong enough now, but I will be when the time comes, I promise."

Driven on by their hurrying horses they neared the old farm house quickly now, when Jane entwined his fingers with hers.

"Believe me, Lisbon, you are indeed strong enough, even now. I meant it when I said I trust you with my life – not only because you're great with guns."

A small smile ghosted over her lips.

"I've faith in your strength, Lisbon. Even though the thought of losing you is killing me – and I'm going to do everything necessary to prevent that scenario – I want you by my side, because I know you're strong enough to handle it."

"Besides, you are lost without me." Her sulky words made it his turn to smile.

"Indeed, my dear."

He became serious all over again. "I _do_ need you, Lisbon. During past six months I learned, that you're my weak point. I don't say I'm weaker without out you, but I _am_ stronger _with_ you."

Jane hesitated only a few seconds until he leaned down to her ear and whispered, "And I missed you badly."

Despite the coldness of rain and wind Lisbon felt a burning red spreading over her face.

Hasty she let go of his hand and tramped past him.

"For your information, I didn't miss you at all!"

It was an insult for every ever spoken lie. And of course he knew that. He knew that she knew that he knew.

And she knew without hearing that he chuckled when he followed her towards the stable.

TBC

_To be honest, I am sad that Wainwright is dead. I liked him. :(_

_Anyway, this chapter really killed me but I hope you like it!_


	9. Chapter 8 – Recovered strength

**A/N**: So...that's it. This is the last chapter. Hard to believe for me considering how long it took me to write the story.

Anyway, thanks again to my beta reader 0YinANDYang0! Additionally, thanks to Domi ;)

And thank you so much, dear readers, for reading and reviewing, of course!

By the way, this chapter is the reason for the T rating, so... Enjoy! ;)

* * *

Chapter eight – Recovered strength

She didn't need to turn around. She simply knew that he had just entered her room.

Without a word Lisbon took a second towel from the wardrobe and handed it to him. After that she wrapped herself in her own, shivering with cold. Her clothes were soaked wet and stuck to her body. She really needed them off.

"Jane?" Lisbon faced him finally and found him standing right in front of her. He looked lost with the towel waiting in his hands, his clothes just as drenched as hers, his locks a blond chaos and his blue eyes shimmering in the dimness.

His gaze was as deep as always, but now it was full of sorrow, fear and strong affection as well. He looked at her like he was pleading for her forgiveness and closeness. Like he would lose his ground the second she turned away.

Lisbon swallowed and was about to do exactly that but wasn't able to move. She knew, things would change if she didn't stop them right now.

At the same time she wasn't sure whether it already was too late to back down.

She wasn't sure what she was feeling right now at all. There was huge relief mixed with a longing, which had never been that strong before.

"You should get out of theses wet things and towel yourself, Jane" she said hoarsely with chattering teeth, when she eventually averted her gaze.

Jeez, she was freezing! She had to get out of her clothes right now and she didn't care that Jane was still here.

Before her towel could possibly become saturated, too, she threw it on her armchair and removed her dripping shoes. She was trying to open her blouse but her fingers trembled so much she couldn't get the button through its hole.

With a frustrated groan she tried to peel the buttoned blouse off but failed since the wet fabric adhered to her skin.

She was on the verge of simply ripping it off, when two already warm hands were put on hers to stop their frantic movements.

"Let me help," Jane whispered. Lisbon blinked and glanced at him. She could feel herself blushing slightly but she nodded anyway.

He gripped the blouse's lowest hem and pulled it carefully upwards and, after she lifted her arms, over her head. Carelessly he let it fall on the floor and while his gaze was suddenly entwined with hers, his hands found their way back to her hips, caressing her damp skin. His fingers travelled feathery to her stomach and down to her jeans.

Lisbon shivered and when he started to unbutton them she noticed her own fingers doing the same with his vest. It was easier there because its buttonholes were bigger, so the vest soon joined her blouse on the floor. Before he helped her out off her jeans, she extracted his shirt from his trousers.

When only her underwear was left she took his shirt off; and then they were just standing in front of each other. Closely. Looking into each other's eyes. She couldn't help smiling and he smirked back. As if they just realized how weird this situation was; both wet to the skin, not quite naked, standing in a half dark room of an old farm house in the middle of nowhere, with a rainstorm outside, the danger of a serial killer above their heads and a doubtful future ahead.

However, at this very moment, all they could care about was the person right in front of them.

This time Lisbon made the first move. She pulled him closer on his waistband and untied his belt. Thereupon Jane's hands came back to her hips again, wandering around and up on her back. She shivered and felt warmth returning to her veins when he opened her bra slowly.

When his trousers fell down so did her bra. Lisbon shivered with cold once more and stepped intuitively closer. Without thinking Jane wrapped his arms around her and felt her soft breasts pressed against his chest. He couldn't help blushing slightly.

Lisbon chuckled. "Shouldn't I be the one blushing, Mr. Jane?" she whispered smirking.

"I really have no idea what you could possibly mean, Agent Lisbon!" he answered just a quiet and buried his face in the crook of her neck. When his lips caressed her sensitive skin, a sigh escaped her own.

Smiling fondly Lisbon hugged him back and leaned her head against his shoulder. Another low sigh fled her throat when Jane let his palms stroke her back up and down. After a few moments his fingers drifted upwards again, over her shoulders to her neck until he could cup her face in his hands. Lisbon lifted her head to look at him and found him serious now.

His thumbs caressed her cheeks tenderly while he was staring right away into her eyes. With his gaze burning into her soul Lisbon felt a lump in her throat and she swallowed. Suddenly she became very aware of the fact that he was able to see the love in her eyes clearly. Probably he had been able to see it all along.

"Jane..." she breathed without knowing what to say. She couldn't apologize for having these feelings for him. She just couldn't.

He didn't want her to, though.

Jane simply leaned down and brushed her lips with his. Lisbon caught her breath and felt her heart leaping into the throat. Before she could say or do anything his lips returned to hers fully, pressing a sweet but longing kiss on them.

And all she could do was giving in. Her lids fell shut and her body sank against his while she tightened her embrace and started to kiss him back.

xxx

Lisbon lay on her bed with Jane right above, both completely naked.

Her sensitive skin wasn't cold anymore, it was burning, but the fire was sweet and tempting. His fingers explored every part of her, his lips trailed her curves. He took his time. To pleasure her. To get to know every inch of her he didn't know before.

"Jane..." Just a whisper. Her eyes laden with lust, longing and love. Her cheeks were rosy-tinted.

His gaze met hers and he crawled up, beside her, to kiss her deeply and dearly. Lisbon buried her fingers in his blond locks, pressed her body against his. She felt him shivering.

Her fall had caused a bruise on her hip but she couldn't care less about the numb pain just now.

"Lisbon...be careful..." he groaned into her mouth while his hands roamed down to her hips and around to caress her butt.

"Jane!" she tried to hiss but it sounded rather like a squeak – and it wasn't painful after all. She arched away from his hands which caused an intimate body contact. Both sighed with pleasure before Jane chuckled against her swollen lips.

"Don't tell me you're ticklish there."

Lisbon blushed.

"Jane, shut up and kiss me!"

"Your wish is my command," he breathed and let his lips trail down to her breasts until he could place a tender kiss on one of her rosy peaks.

Lisbon moaned softly and grasped his hair tightly. She sighed savoring.

"Not exactly what I meant, but be my guest, please go on."

Jane smirked knowingly and did what she had implied.

xxx

Her fingers were entwined with his, when he finally merged with her.

Lisbon threw her head back and her body arched against his. Her gaze never left his moonlit eyes though. He returned her look with unbearable love and lust. When his feelings became too overwhelming he sank down on her, deeply into her. Desperately he captured her lips and kissed her passionately, refusing to let her go again.

She didn't mind.

He was here, she could actually feel him. Finally.

He won't vanish. At least not anytime soon.

He was back.

He was with her.

Suddenly, eventually, this knowledge sunk in.

He was back and it was all that mattered.

xxx

It wasn't long after when they lay cuddled together between the sheets, their hot and sweaty bodies entangled.

"Do you feel better?" he asked.

"I feel exhausted."

"Ah...but in a good way." It wasn't even a question.

Lisbon rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not so sure about that."

As punishment Jane simply let his finger tickle over her butt. She acted like before with an uncharacteristic squeak.

"Stop it, Jane!" Just then the terrible knowledge sunk in. "You will never forget this, huh?"

He didn't need to answer, because his grin was enough as a reply.

Lisbon huffed in desperation.

They stayed silent for a few minutes, before Lisbon finally gave in.

"I do feel a little bit better though," she admitted. "A bit more relaxed. I don't like your method, but I guess there were some things which had to be said. And which had to be done." She added a suggestive lift of her brow and placed a teasing kiss on his neck.

He smiled fondly and caught her lips with his own for another loving gesture.

"Thank you," she mumbled into the kiss. "I kind of needed to regain my strength."

Jane pulled away a few inches and shook his head.

"Look at me, Lisbon."

He waited until she did so, looking at him quizzically, and then continued.

"You never lost it. You only needed a push to remember."

His expression was serious, while his thumb traced her upper lip feathery.

When Lisbon furrowed her brow, he whispered, "You're the strongest person I know, even when you think you're weak." His hand was in the back of her neck now, pulling her closer. "Believe me..."

And suddenly she knew that he was right. She was strong enough. Even without Jane back in her life she would have survived her broken heart. If necessary she would have dealt with it alone. Though, if she had the choice, she'd always want him at her side.

When his hands roamed over her body again, her last thought was that she will be strong enough for both of them.

She just decided that he was hers, whether he liked it or not. So she will fight for him.

xxx

The early morning was quiet und surprisingly sunny.

With a low sigh Lisbon stretched and then snuggled back into Jane, with her head on his shoulder and one arm around his waist.

"And again," she mumbled, "it is your fault that I didn't get much sleep that night."

Jane smirked against her hair and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, while he pulled their cover up to her shoulders. Because of the open window it was crisp in the small room, so that they had a perfect excuse to cuddle together even more.

"Are you complaining?" Jane asked and beneath the cover he let his fingers stroke up and down her naked side.

"No?"

"That's what I thought."

Lisbon snorted, "Thank God you're not conceited!" She didn't need to look up to know that he was grinning impishly.

"Hey Lisbon, isn't that a bit cliché?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, waking up together after a...hot night?"

"Huh..." She pretended to think about it seriously, but the cheerful glint in her eyes gave her away. "It would be, if _you_ wake up _alone_, wistfully reminiscing."

"Me? Why not the other way round?" Jane pouted.

"Because in that case I would kill you with my bare hands."

"Uh, okay, point taken."

"However," he said so quietly that she almost missed it, "I'm glad you're still right beside me."

Lisbon lifted her head, crossed her arms on his chest and put her chin above them. For the first time in weeks she was able to hold his gaze with an open and direct look, without feeling uneasy.

"I'm always on your side, Jane. You know that, don't you?" she double-checked.

He smiled at her honestly and gratefully. "Yes, I do." His fingers found their way to her cheek again and trailed into her tousled dark waves.

She returned the smile and under his caressing hands she closed her eyes to relax a few more minutes.

xxx

"Did you mean it? That stuff about Wainwright and all?" Her voice was light and careful when she broke the pleasant silence a little bit later.

He looked at her critically while his fingers played with some strands of her hair.

"Partly," he confessed, "however, let's take care about it back home."

"Okay," she whispered and turned her head to catch his fingertip with her lips.

"But..." he said hesitantly after awhile. "I did mean every single word I told you about you and me. I meant every gesture, every touch, and every look. I need to be sure that you know that. Don't forget it in the future, no matter what will happen back at the CBI."

She looked into his now serious eyes. A bad feeling settled in her chest, like a foreboding, and yet she nodded slowly.

When his hands reached for her, she hesitated just a few seconds, before she finally gave in and let him kiss her forcefully.

xxx

"Hey Jane?" Lisbon sat up, with her bare back towards him. She felt his fingertips along her spine and shivered with pleasure. It was as if he couldn't stop touching her, but since she still longed for both his touch and kiss, she wouldn't dare to complain at all.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me something?"

"Yes," he replied without hesitation.

"That's it?" she wondered, "Simply yes?"

"Exactly."

"I see...still a cool customer, huh?"

"Yeah...I have faith in you."

"Ha, you may regret that."

"Nah, I don't think so."

"Oh fine."

"...So?"

She watched him over her shoulder, her eyes stern now.

"Don't ever disappear again...not without a word, without a goodbye. I mean it, Jane, don't do that again."

She won't ask for never disappearing in general, because this whole thing was still about Red John after all and Jane had to do what was necessary. No, all that she wanted was an explanation and a goodbye.

Jane held her gaze for a brief moment and then he agreed.

"I promise."

xxx

"You know, we probably should forget last night," Lisbon mentioned not exactly serious as she put plates on the kitchen table. Since they wakened before their colleagues they currently were preparing breakfast.

Furrowing his brows Jane looked at her with a piece of cheese in his hand.

"Really, Lisbon? Didn't I tell you once that I will never forget an important thing?"

A smirk spread over her features.

"Yeah right, sorry I forgot. I guess I was kind of hyped up..." She lifted her brow at him.

"Touché." Since he was suddenly very busy with the coffee machine, she let him off the hook this time.

"So...last night is in the bedroom of your memory palace now?"

Jane snorted with amusement. "You might say that."

"Who said what?" Rigsby yawned when he entered the kitchen.

"We just talked about your excellent riding skills."

"And what could that possibly mean, huh, Jane?"

"Just what I said. Lisbon, was it so hard to understand what I just said? Or maybe Rigsby's still sleeping with open eyes."

"Keep me out of this, would you?!"

Shaking her head Lisbon escaped the men's banter and stepped outside. Standing on the porch she deeply inhaled the fresh air and watched the awakening valley.

Even though she had been annoyed about their non-suspension, it was a pity that they would leave the following day. It was a nice place after all.

It had helped her to remember what was truly important. It had reminded her of her strength. A strength that will help her to keep the team together, face Red John and stay at Jane's side to the bitter end.

Nevertheless she will hinder Jane from pulling her down with him. As a matter of fact, she will make sure, that he will stay up as well. In the end she will keep him safe.

_You won't win_, she thought when the imagination of a red smiley face flashed in the blue sky – just like the one they had found in the backyard.

_I promise I won't let you win, no matter what happened._

"Boss?" Grace called from inside, "You coming? Coffee's getting cold."

Lisbon blinked; the bright sky was unblemished now.

"I'll be right there!" she answered and after a last look into the distance she turned away.

_You won't win...because finally we will be stronger._

***End***

I'm not satisfied with the story...but it's a beginning. I guess I have to practice a bit more. It shouldn't be a problem though since the new season is going to start tomorrow! Don't forget to watch!

Love,

Snow


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